Friday, July 07, 2006

DMN Mosley: T.O.'s early release finds WR 'open'

In case you missed it, the literary world was turned upside down Wednesday when a couple of Wal-Marts in the Philadelphia area mistakenly released Terrell Owens’ latest book a week early.

Thousands of readers across the nation expressed shock that Wal-Mart actually sells books.

But because I cover Owens’ new team and my editor called at 7:40 a.m. Thursday, I quickly launched a search for the new book, which, and don’t let this catch you by surprise, is titled T.O.

For some reason, the first call I made was to a Wal-Mart store in Rockwall. Just call it a hunch.

Asked whether the store had any copies of Owens’ new book, an enthusiastic woman paused before saying, “Who is Terrell Owens?”

My next stop was the Barnes & Noble across from NorthPark Center.

After coming up empty in the self-serving section of the bookstore, I asked the manager for help.

The man (let’s call him Tom) acted as if I’d requested classified government documents.

Looking around to see who was listening, he said, “We haven’t received any copies, and even if we had, I couldn’t show them to you.”

Moments later, I reached Owens’ publicist, Kim Etheredge, who is in charge of turning down interview requests.

“Oh, you’re the comedic writer,” she said with a heavy dose of sarcasm, which I found somewhat hurtful.

Etheredge became the first person to publicly admit to reading the book twice. She said Owens wrote the book for “his loyal fans.”

“It’s a great book,” she said before adding that Owens would be available for comment July 13-14.

In an awkward moment, I explained to Etheredge that I’d planned to take vacation during this period.

My next stop was the new Barnes & Noble at the corner of Preston and Royal. After explaining that someone from Simon & Schuster publishing had told a friend of mine that it was OK to sell me the book, a remarkably kind manager named Ellen Rogers came to my rescue.

She made a quick call to corporate and within minutes, I was forking over $27.06 to read Owens’ “own Philadelphia story.”

Three hours later, I was still the only one who had purchased the book, which had been prominently displayed at the front of the store.

During last month’s minicamp, Owens said, “I think everything in [this] book is basically as close to the truth as I can tell it.”

And when you think about it, isn’t that all we can ask from him?

Owens addresses his stormy relationship with Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb on almost every page, but my favorite part of the book was the Acknowledgments section in which Owens thanked his five attorneys and bodyguard Carlos “Pablo” Cosby for “literally watching his back.”

In these difficult times, more authors should take the time to thank their bodyguards.

The disappointing news for Cowboys fans is that Owens only gives you one chapter. He accidentally insults owner Jerry Jones by referring to him as a “self-made multi-millionaire.”

T.O., in future books you may want to honor Jones’ “billionaire” status.
Quick note to my audience: I’m about to spoil the ending of the book, so some of you may want to stop reading if you haven’t already.

After promising Cowboys fans a Super Bowl victory next February, Owens or his co-author/agent closes with, “And to those who aren’t my friends, I say to you: Come over to the winning side!”

T.O., you had us at hello.