The straw that broke Bill Parcells' back
By Os Davis on November 6, 2006 02:49 AM
Here's a guess: While Bill Parcells may or may not have seen it all, he has now seen enough.
The straw that broke the Tuna's back? Take your pick; in the must-win 22-19 loss at Washington, a number of meaningful moments transpired which will certainly have Parcells coming to a key life decision this morning.
Looking back at the 2006 season, history will say that Parcells probably waited too long to start Tony Romo. (All together now, Drew Bledsoe detractors: "We told you so.") Romo followed up his excellent debut as starter with another solid performance. In a rare turn, this time it's the QB that's making Terrell Owens look good.
But Owens and certain of his highly paid ilk are what surely gave Parcells a poor night of sleep. The crazy fourth quarter supplied the Tuna enough material for a half-dozen Tim Burton films to run in an internal loop until he officially announces a la Madden that "maybe golf is my game."
T.O. drops what should have been a TD in the fourth quarter. Mike Vanderjagt, in his first true clutch situation for the Cowboys, approached the ball with Bledsoe-like trepidation to serve up a fat, blockable kick and watch Sean Taylor's return with bovine eyes. (All together now, Vanderjagt detractors: "We told you so.") To heap stupidity onto the insult already added to injury, another Jerry Jones big-money free agent signing, Kyle Kosier, gave Washington another play with a bonus 15 yards for an absolutely ridiculous facemask penalty.
If you couldn't feel Parcells' stomach ulcers from where you were watching, you must pour anti-freeze over your breakfast cereal.
Add those snapshots of pain to that of Parcells watching Bledsoe throwing away the opener against the Jacksonville Jaguars ; of Parcells watching T.O.'s idiot grin after dropping an easy fourth-down catch against the New York Giants ; of that mad glint in Parcells' eye as he curtly addresses reports with complaints about infuriating penalties.
The fact is the future is now, new contract extension for the coach or none; at 4-4, that future is looking slightly less dark than Saddam Hussein's. An accompanying fact is that Parcells' attention span hasn't measured longer than four years since he left the Giants. Jones hasn't employed a head coach for five years since Jimmy Johnson earned his master's dissatisfaction apparently because he couldn't go 16-0.
These Cowboys are arguably on an equal talent level to any team Parcells has headed up, excepting perhaps the Giants Super Bowl winners, yet the 'Pokes are losing games in ways well beyond a coach's control. Romo has come in organically, immediately adapting to a leadership role, but the Lone Stars can't produce three TDs against an inferior defense. Dallas has potentially the best receiving tandem in the league, but, well, it's always something with the continually uncontrollable Owens. If Parcells' hair could get any whiter, it would; male pattern baldness is presumably on the coach's personal timetable.
Pictures, they say, are worth a thousand words each. There's a novel of Texas T-bone thickness entitled "The 2006 Dallas Cowboys " with the most predictable ending since "The Return of the Jedi." You heard it here first: Parcells is leaving the Dallas Cowboys at the end of this season. This game was the straw.
Here's a guess: While Bill Parcells may or may not have seen it all, he has now seen enough.
The straw that broke the Tuna's back? Take your pick; in the must-win 22-19 loss at Washington, a number of meaningful moments transpired which will certainly have Parcells coming to a key life decision this morning.
Looking back at the 2006 season, history will say that Parcells probably waited too long to start Tony Romo. (All together now, Drew Bledsoe detractors: "We told you so.") Romo followed up his excellent debut as starter with another solid performance. In a rare turn, this time it's the QB that's making Terrell Owens look good.
But Owens and certain of his highly paid ilk are what surely gave Parcells a poor night of sleep. The crazy fourth quarter supplied the Tuna enough material for a half-dozen Tim Burton films to run in an internal loop until he officially announces a la Madden that "maybe golf is my game."
T.O. drops what should have been a TD in the fourth quarter. Mike Vanderjagt, in his first true clutch situation for the Cowboys, approached the ball with Bledsoe-like trepidation to serve up a fat, blockable kick and watch Sean Taylor's return with bovine eyes. (All together now, Vanderjagt detractors: "We told you so.") To heap stupidity onto the insult already added to injury, another Jerry Jones big-money free agent signing, Kyle Kosier, gave Washington another play with a bonus 15 yards for an absolutely ridiculous facemask penalty.
If you couldn't feel Parcells' stomach ulcers from where you were watching, you must pour anti-freeze over your breakfast cereal.
Add those snapshots of pain to that of Parcells watching Bledsoe throwing away the opener against the Jacksonville Jaguars ; of Parcells watching T.O.'s idiot grin after dropping an easy fourth-down catch against the New York Giants ; of that mad glint in Parcells' eye as he curtly addresses reports with complaints about infuriating penalties.
The fact is the future is now, new contract extension for the coach or none; at 4-4, that future is looking slightly less dark than Saddam Hussein's. An accompanying fact is that Parcells' attention span hasn't measured longer than four years since he left the Giants. Jones hasn't employed a head coach for five years since Jimmy Johnson earned his master's dissatisfaction apparently because he couldn't go 16-0.
These Cowboys are arguably on an equal talent level to any team Parcells has headed up, excepting perhaps the Giants Super Bowl winners, yet the 'Pokes are losing games in ways well beyond a coach's control. Romo has come in organically, immediately adapting to a leadership role, but the Lone Stars can't produce three TDs against an inferior defense. Dallas has potentially the best receiving tandem in the league, but, well, it's always something with the continually uncontrollable Owens. If Parcells' hair could get any whiter, it would; male pattern baldness is presumably on the coach's personal timetable.
Pictures, they say, are worth a thousand words each. There's a novel of Texas T-bone thickness entitled "The 2006 Dallas Cowboys " with the most predictable ending since "The Return of the Jedi." You heard it here first: Parcells is leaving the Dallas Cowboys at the end of this season. This game was the straw.
posted by The Gryphon at 10:37 PM
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