Cowboys' Romo clearly keeping good company

Mike Tanier / FootballOutsiders.com

Gossip columnists are reporting that Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo is dating Jessica Simpson.

For smart-aleck sportswriters, hearing news like that is like reaching under the car seat and finding a suitcase full of hundred dollar bills. Our editors don't want Rundown to touch hot-button topics like Romo-sexuality, but we just can't resist. The jokes practically write themselves. (Yeah, he denies it ... what's your point?)

For example, the curvaceous Ms. Simpson allegedly had a hand in the Cowboys' play calling on Thanksgiving. She wasn't happy with the conservative schemes Bill Parcells used in previous games to protect her inexperienced new beau, so she challenged Parcells to be less cowardly in his gameplan. "Are you tuna or chicken?" she asked.

Another report indicates that Terrell Owens is unhappy that he's no longer the center of attention. He hasn't yet decided whether he should a) cut an album with Nick Lachey and John Mayer, b) start wearing Daisy Dukes during practices, or c) hire kid sis Ashlee Simpson as his, ahem, publicist.

OK, so nobody said that good jokes were practically writing themselves. But if a pop princess like Simpson can catch Romo fever, then we're all susceptible. And if you judge young quarterbacks by the female company they keep, Romo is running rings around the competition. Take Eli Manning: we've searched all the tabloids, and all we could find was one measly lap dance from Paris Hilton before she drifted off into Leinart land.

Of course, we know why baby bro can't attract a starlet. His passes keep flying over their heads.