Monday, February 19, 2007

The Evolution of the Endzone Dance

The Evolution of the Endzone Dance

from finkle is einhorn's SportingBlog

With the advent of the latest celebrations of props, from Owens' Sharpie to Joe Horn's cell phone, the league has cracked down on the endzone celebration, where leaving one's feet or using a prop results in an automatic 15 yd penalty, and the possibility of a fine and suspension. Many have decried this as being part and parcel of the "No Fun League - NFL" while others from the "act like you've been there before school" are hailing attempts to cut down on a lack of sportsmanship and the snowball effect as players try to outdo each other.

Here is a short history of the endzone celebration, it is by no means exhaustive, or even accurate for that matter, but it should be fun to look at the hubub that has been caused by too much joi de vive.


Every movement has its father, and it looks in this case that the George Washington of endzone celebrations is the Houston Oiler's Billy "White Shoes" Johnson, doing his famous "Funky Chicken" based on a song by Rufus Thomas. Anyone who has seen any clips of NFL past has most likely seen the crazy knee flapping that consitutes this dance. I have always been a fan of the classics, and this dance is celebrated b/c it meets certain guidelines that did not tick off the NFL. It:

a) was short;
b) was done in fun, not taunting or showing up the other team;
c) it involved only one player; and
d) Johnson was one of the few players to do a celebration (this was shortly to change)

In this vein, we are going to classify the good from the bad celebrations with these thoughts in mind.

THE GOOD

California Quake - Butch Johnson - Dallas Cowboys, quick and fun, akin to an epileptic fit followed by six shooters.

Ickey Shuffle - Ickey Woods - Cinncinati Bengals, everyone remembers Ickey's first season and the dance he made famous. Showing that dancing is a lot like sex, in that you don't have to be very good at it to enjoy it.

Charger Coconut - Alfred Pupunu - San Diego Chargers, perhaps my favorite of all the endzone celebrations. Most people haven't seen it, not only b/c the Chargers weren't always on prime time, but also b/c Pupunu wasn't exactly a scoring machine. It involved him holding the football at arms length, mock ripping the top of the football off and chugging the "coconut" milk inside. Freaking hilarious.

Lambeau Leap - LeRoy Butler - Green Bay Packers, is another great celebration, as players jump from the field into the waiting arms of the fans on the rails. Pure celebration and giving back to the fans. Class move.

Mile High Salute - Terrell Davis - Denver Broncos, fun, short, for the fans, and oddly patriotic, Davis made a habit of facing the stadium, standing at attention and giving a quick salute to the fans.

Steve Smith gets his own slot here, b/c he had some good ones that were on the fringe, but were always in good fun and pretty darn funny. Whether it was cradling the football like a baby and changing its diaper, posing like a supermodel, or making the snow angel, Smith was a true student of Professor White Shoes.

Honorable Mention - Kelley Washington, Bengals - "The Squirrel"; Johnny Morton, Lions- "The Worm"; Kevin Smith, Dallas Cowboys - "The Shark", Tony Gonzalez (Chiefs)/Alvin Harper (Cowboys) - Goal Post Dunk.

THE BAD

The Fun Bunch - Washington Redskins - In the spirit of taking things to far, the Redskins used to pretty much take a team picture after each score. As more and more teammates got involved, it took longer and longer to clear the field. Mocked pretty in a rather amusing fashion in the movie "Baseketball" in which the teams lined up in a "River Dance" type performance.

The Bob and Weave - St. Louis Rams - a distant cousin of the fun bunch, again ran afoul of time constraints as it involved too many people, too much time, and a choreographer. See also "The Dirty Bird"

The Diamond - Larry Johson, Chiefs - not long, not taunting, but gets this portion of the list just b/c its stupid. Has to do with Johnson's affiliation with Roc-A-Fella records.

Then we have the prop celebrations.....

Joe Horn - cell phone, hopefully he was calling his banker to have them wire $10,000 to the NFL disciplinary board.

Terrell Owens - Dancing on the Dallas Star, the Sharpie, the Pom-Poms, the Salvation Army Kettle. Pick which one makes you want to throw up more.

Ocho Cinco - Holding up the sign to the NFL or proposing to the cheerleader with a bleach blond mohawk, gold grill shining in the light, you could almost see the caption which says, "FOOL."

Randy Moss - Mooning the crowd. A holes doing what a holes do.

THE UGLY

As much as I liked the team, I would have to say that the worst celebration belongs solely to the Chicago Bears, in that they took it upon themselves, in the dawn of video, to make their own music video with the "Superbowl Shuffle." They should show this over and over at Guantanamo to wrangle confessions out of terrorists, Heck, the guards may even start to confessing if they have to watch this. Bad song, bad dancing, bad video, what more could you ask.

I know I left a lot out, so throw your favorites in at your leisure.
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