Tuna's logic is a little fishy
By Jennifer Floyd Engel
Star-Telegram Staff Writer
STAR-TELEGRAM/RON JENKINS
Bill Parcells, left, doesn't need to explain things twice to Mike Vanderjagt. Kick field goals or lose your spot.IRVING -- The Magical, Mystery Mike Vanderjagt Tour finally kicks off at Texas Stadium this evening. Or at least kicks.
It would have been here sooner, but it failed to pass the rigorous 14-point Coach Tuna Noggin (CTN) test before Week 1. Big Bill decided his cocky kicker's head was not right enough to go to Jax.
What he quickly learned was Shaun Suisham's foot was not right, period.
So the CTN is not without flaws, obviously; Flozell Adams passed.
What I do not understand is why so much brainpower has been spent on Vanderjagt's mind-set. Of course, he's slightly crazy. He's a kicker. Nor is he your typical screwball kicker; he is a kicker with a personal Web site (mikevanderjagt.net) where he tells everybody just how good he is.
He is crazy. He is also right.
This is the most accurate kicker in the history of the NFL and, if he is capable of nailing his field goals consistently, does anybody really care if he's a little off-center? Me neither.
Seriously, where else, other than Big Bill Land, is the question of whether to have one of the best kickers kick on Sundays an actual question?
Parcells was still demurring on Vanderjagt's status Friday.
"Nothing has changed," he said.
Something obviously has. Vanderjagt is going to be active for any and all field-goal duty against the 'Skins. Cow fans just have to hope whatever mind game Coach Tuna was playing with Vanderjagt's head did not do any permanent damage.
Because while Parcells and Co. might not be thrilled that their $5.4 million kicker looked eerily like their blue-light specials of yesteryear in preseason action, they had better cross their fingers that Vanderjagt is OK.
The Cowboys' playoff hopes depend on it.
Bill Ball results in too many close games for the Cowboys to survive without a good kicker. They lost at least three games in 2005 because gimme field goals were not gimmes for them.
One of those kicker-aided losses was in Week 2 against the Redskins. It was the difference in not making the playoffs. It is why Owner Jones finally opened his wallet and paid big bucks for a kicker this off-season.
Why they benched him for Week 1 is less obvious.
About the only thing we know for sure is Vanderjagt was not hurt.
Coach Tuna's kind-of explanation was that he had not seen enough from his kicker to justify bringing him to the game. Vanderjagt wisely dodged this topic altogether.
"You know what, I am an honest person, but I'm not going to be honest right now," he said Friday. "I really don't feel like getting into it at this point. Everything is fine. It's up to Bill what happens. He is the coach."
To be honest, I liked Vanderjagt's head before Big Tuna got his hands on it.
I like a kicker who is not afraid to say what he thinks. I like a kicker who honestly believes he is going to make every kick. I like a kicker who believes his misses are unexplainable aberrations that will disappear the next time he steps onto the field.
I do not like testing his fragile and obviously slightly insane chemistry. So save the Sigmund Fraud for Flo and let the crazy kicker kick.
As for anybody checking out the Magical, Mystery Mike Vanderjagt Tour, just a quick PSA: Buckle your seatbelts and keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. This may be a bumpy ride.
Star-Telegram Staff Writer
STAR-TELEGRAM/RON JENKINS
Bill Parcells, left, doesn't need to explain things twice to Mike Vanderjagt. Kick field goals or lose your spot.IRVING -- The Magical, Mystery Mike Vanderjagt Tour finally kicks off at Texas Stadium this evening. Or at least kicks.
It would have been here sooner, but it failed to pass the rigorous 14-point Coach Tuna Noggin (CTN) test before Week 1. Big Bill decided his cocky kicker's head was not right enough to go to Jax.
What he quickly learned was Shaun Suisham's foot was not right, period.
So the CTN is not without flaws, obviously; Flozell Adams passed.
What I do not understand is why so much brainpower has been spent on Vanderjagt's mind-set. Of course, he's slightly crazy. He's a kicker. Nor is he your typical screwball kicker; he is a kicker with a personal Web site (mikevanderjagt.net) where he tells everybody just how good he is.
He is crazy. He is also right.
This is the most accurate kicker in the history of the NFL and, if he is capable of nailing his field goals consistently, does anybody really care if he's a little off-center? Me neither.
Seriously, where else, other than Big Bill Land, is the question of whether to have one of the best kickers kick on Sundays an actual question?
Parcells was still demurring on Vanderjagt's status Friday.
"Nothing has changed," he said.
Something obviously has. Vanderjagt is going to be active for any and all field-goal duty against the 'Skins. Cow fans just have to hope whatever mind game Coach Tuna was playing with Vanderjagt's head did not do any permanent damage.
Because while Parcells and Co. might not be thrilled that their $5.4 million kicker looked eerily like their blue-light specials of yesteryear in preseason action, they had better cross their fingers that Vanderjagt is OK.
The Cowboys' playoff hopes depend on it.
Bill Ball results in too many close games for the Cowboys to survive without a good kicker. They lost at least three games in 2005 because gimme field goals were not gimmes for them.
One of those kicker-aided losses was in Week 2 against the Redskins. It was the difference in not making the playoffs. It is why Owner Jones finally opened his wallet and paid big bucks for a kicker this off-season.
Why they benched him for Week 1 is less obvious.
About the only thing we know for sure is Vanderjagt was not hurt.
Coach Tuna's kind-of explanation was that he had not seen enough from his kicker to justify bringing him to the game. Vanderjagt wisely dodged this topic altogether.
"You know what, I am an honest person, but I'm not going to be honest right now," he said Friday. "I really don't feel like getting into it at this point. Everything is fine. It's up to Bill what happens. He is the coach."
To be honest, I liked Vanderjagt's head before Big Tuna got his hands on it.
I like a kicker who is not afraid to say what he thinks. I like a kicker who honestly believes he is going to make every kick. I like a kicker who believes his misses are unexplainable aberrations that will disappear the next time he steps onto the field.
I do not like testing his fragile and obviously slightly insane chemistry. So save the Sigmund Fraud for Flo and let the crazy kicker kick.
As for anybody checking out the Magical, Mystery Mike Vanderjagt Tour, just a quick PSA: Buckle your seatbelts and keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times. This may be a bumpy ride.
posted by The Gryphon at 11:12 AM
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