America's Team ready for return to podium
Jerry Greene | FROM THE CHEAP SEATS
September 1, 2007
Spoiler Alert! Stop reading immediately if you want to be surprised by the outcome of Super Bowl XLII.
Too late.
Dallas 41, San Diego 21.
Sorry, New England fans, 'cause that "modern-day dynasty" motto will have to wait. What we're going to have is a battle of two "replacement coaches" as Wade Phillips takes over for the once legendary Bill Parcells in Dallas and Norv Turner gets one last chance as the sub for Marty "Can't win a playoff game" Schottenheimer.
Norv will win a couple of them -- just not the Big One as Cowboys become "America's Team" once again, led by a truly great American: Terrell Owens.
"What about our teams?"
You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! Jacksonville will not make the playoffs at 9-7 while Miami (6-10) and Tampa Bay (5-11) won't make anything other than the occasional Letterman or Leno monologue.
"OK, smart guy, who gets the first two picks in next year's draft?"
That's easy. Cleveland (1-15) will pick first unless Virginia DE Chris Long's lawyers up and fight the "cruel and unusual punishment" of being forced to live and play in Cleveland.
Second pick? That would go to Green Bay (2-14), which player/coach Brett Favre will use it for any receiver who can catch a pass on the first bounce.
"Why should we be listening to you?"
Because I have a newspaper column and you don't. Besides that, I did really well last year.
OK, make that did pretty good.
I got four teams exactly right: Indianapolis (12-4), Minnesota (6-10), Houston (6-10) and Washington (5-11). And I was only one or two wins off on 15 other teams.
Biggest mistake? Detroit -- but aren't the Lions the NFL's biggest mistake? For some reason I said 10-6 and they actually went 3-13. Doctors are treating me for MMS -- Matt Millen Syndrome.
"Enough with last year! Get on with it!"
Glad you asked 'cause otherwise this column wouldn't reach the bottom of the page.
Let's start with quality at the top -- the American Conference:
East -- New England (12-4), East Rutherford Jets (11-5), Buffalo (7-9), Miami (6-10).
North -- Baltimore (12-4), Pittsburgh (10-6), Cincinnati (7-9), Cleveland (1-15).
South -- Indianapolis (10-6), Jacksonville (9-7), Tennessee (5-11), Houston (5-11).
West -- San Diego (14-2), Denver (9-7), Kansas City (6-10), Oakland (6-10).
And now the NFL's equivalent to the NBA East -- the National Conference:
East -- Dallas (13-3), Philadelphia (10-6), Washington (8-8), ER Giants (4-12).
North -- Chicago (11-5), Minnesota (10-6), Detroit (8-8), Green Bay (2-14).
South -- New Orleans (10-6), Carolina (7-9), Atlanta (6-10), Tampa Bay (5-11).
West -- St. Louis (11-5), Seattle (8-8), San Francisco (7-9), Arizona (6-10).
Study my predictions and you will notice I am ignoring the "Rule of Seven" that has been in play the last two seasons. In each of the last two playoffs, seven of the 12 surviving teams have been different from the year before. But I predict a, well, more predictable outcome in 2007. My only change in the AFC is Pittsburgh replacing Kansas City. In the slightly more volatile NFC, St. Louis and Minnesota move in, pushing out Seattle and the Giants.
A special note about the NFC South -- it's putrid. Carolina, Atlanta and Tampa Bay are among the five worst teams in the conference even though their records won't reflect it because they get to beat each other.
And my annual thanks to the reader known only as "Minislash" for once again tracking my predictions from last season for me. Nothing says lovin' like someone doing my work for me.
As for the predictions:
As it is written, so shall it be.
TIME TO 'BEAT JERRY'
Silly as it may sound, some of you are not convinced that I know more than you do about the NFL. That's why the weekly "Beat Jerry" contest can be found once again at OrlandoSentinel.com/sports -- because it's so popular. We had more than 3,000 competitors last season -- and the national champion was a local woman. We will have prizes, including the coveted "Beat Jerry" T-shirt that goes to our top winner each week. Go to the Web site now and register. All you have to do is pick the winning teams each week in the NFL -- and it's free! Can't beat it with a stick.
FANTASY PREDICTIONS
2007 STATS FOR STARS
PASSING TDS
Manning 33.
Brees 30.
Romo 28.
Bulger 27.
Rivers 26.
RUSHING TDS
Tomlinson 17.
Jackson 15.
Addai 12.
Alexander 12.
Parker 11.
RECEIVING TDS
Harrison 12.
Owens 11.
Wayne 10.
C. Johnson 10.
R. Williams 10.
MOST PICKS
Picks and fumbles can be cut if not needed. Favre 19.
E. Manning 18.
Kitna 17.
T. Jackson 16.
Grossman 16.
MOST FUMBLES
R. Johnson 7.
V. Young 6
J. Cutler 6
R. Brown 6
S. McNair 6.
September 1, 2007
Spoiler Alert! Stop reading immediately if you want to be surprised by the outcome of Super Bowl XLII.
Too late.
Dallas 41, San Diego 21.
Sorry, New England fans, 'cause that "modern-day dynasty" motto will have to wait. What we're going to have is a battle of two "replacement coaches" as Wade Phillips takes over for the once legendary Bill Parcells in Dallas and Norv Turner gets one last chance as the sub for Marty "Can't win a playoff game" Schottenheimer.
Norv will win a couple of them -- just not the Big One as Cowboys become "America's Team" once again, led by a truly great American: Terrell Owens.
"What about our teams?"
You want the truth? You can't handle the truth! Jacksonville will not make the playoffs at 9-7 while Miami (6-10) and Tampa Bay (5-11) won't make anything other than the occasional Letterman or Leno monologue.
"OK, smart guy, who gets the first two picks in next year's draft?"
That's easy. Cleveland (1-15) will pick first unless Virginia DE Chris Long's lawyers up and fight the "cruel and unusual punishment" of being forced to live and play in Cleveland.
Second pick? That would go to Green Bay (2-14), which player/coach Brett Favre will use it for any receiver who can catch a pass on the first bounce.
"Why should we be listening to you?"
Because I have a newspaper column and you don't. Besides that, I did really well last year.
OK, make that did pretty good.
I got four teams exactly right: Indianapolis (12-4), Minnesota (6-10), Houston (6-10) and Washington (5-11). And I was only one or two wins off on 15 other teams.
Biggest mistake? Detroit -- but aren't the Lions the NFL's biggest mistake? For some reason I said 10-6 and they actually went 3-13. Doctors are treating me for MMS -- Matt Millen Syndrome.
"Enough with last year! Get on with it!"
Glad you asked 'cause otherwise this column wouldn't reach the bottom of the page.
Let's start with quality at the top -- the American Conference:
East -- New England (12-4), East Rutherford Jets (11-5), Buffalo (7-9), Miami (6-10).
North -- Baltimore (12-4), Pittsburgh (10-6), Cincinnati (7-9), Cleveland (1-15).
South -- Indianapolis (10-6), Jacksonville (9-7), Tennessee (5-11), Houston (5-11).
West -- San Diego (14-2), Denver (9-7), Kansas City (6-10), Oakland (6-10).
And now the NFL's equivalent to the NBA East -- the National Conference:
East -- Dallas (13-3), Philadelphia (10-6), Washington (8-8), ER Giants (4-12).
North -- Chicago (11-5), Minnesota (10-6), Detroit (8-8), Green Bay (2-14).
South -- New Orleans (10-6), Carolina (7-9), Atlanta (6-10), Tampa Bay (5-11).
West -- St. Louis (11-5), Seattle (8-8), San Francisco (7-9), Arizona (6-10).
Study my predictions and you will notice I am ignoring the "Rule of Seven" that has been in play the last two seasons. In each of the last two playoffs, seven of the 12 surviving teams have been different from the year before. But I predict a, well, more predictable outcome in 2007. My only change in the AFC is Pittsburgh replacing Kansas City. In the slightly more volatile NFC, St. Louis and Minnesota move in, pushing out Seattle and the Giants.
A special note about the NFC South -- it's putrid. Carolina, Atlanta and Tampa Bay are among the five worst teams in the conference even though their records won't reflect it because they get to beat each other.
And my annual thanks to the reader known only as "Minislash" for once again tracking my predictions from last season for me. Nothing says lovin' like someone doing my work for me.
As for the predictions:
As it is written, so shall it be.
TIME TO 'BEAT JERRY'
Silly as it may sound, some of you are not convinced that I know more than you do about the NFL. That's why the weekly "Beat Jerry" contest can be found once again at OrlandoSentinel.com/sports -- because it's so popular. We had more than 3,000 competitors last season -- and the national champion was a local woman. We will have prizes, including the coveted "Beat Jerry" T-shirt that goes to our top winner each week. Go to the Web site now and register. All you have to do is pick the winning teams each week in the NFL -- and it's free! Can't beat it with a stick.
FANTASY PREDICTIONS
2007 STATS FOR STARS
PASSING TDS
Manning 33.
Brees 30.
Romo 28.
Bulger 27.
Rivers 26.
RUSHING TDS
Tomlinson 17.
Jackson 15.
Addai 12.
Alexander 12.
Parker 11.
RECEIVING TDS
Harrison 12.
Owens 11.
Wayne 10.
C. Johnson 10.
R. Williams 10.
MOST PICKS
Picks and fumbles can be cut if not needed. Favre 19.
E. Manning 18.
Kitna 17.
T. Jackson 16.
Grossman 16.
MOST FUMBLES
R. Johnson 7.
V. Young 6
J. Cutler 6
R. Brown 6
S. McNair 6.
posted by The Gryphon at 10:20 AM
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