The Onion: Terrell Owens Not Sure About This ‘Pac-Man Jones’ Character

Source: www.scoresreport.com

IRVING, TX—Upon hearing that team owner Jerry Jones had traded draft picks to the Tennessee Titans for troubled cornerback Adam “Pac-Man” Jones, Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens held a press conference to discuss his personal misgivings over acquiring a troubled player whose me-first personality and history of off-the-field issues could potentially damage the team.

“I think my character speaks for itself,” Owens told reporters after arriving late to the press conference in his custom Hummer, which he parked on the sidewalk directly in front of the Texas Stadium press entrance. “You all know what I think of players who are locker-room distractions, who can’t play with the team, who always have to be in the spotlight. I’m warning you—this ‘Pac-Man’ guy has the reputation of being one of those self-centered types no one can stand.”

“You heard it here first,” Owens added, taking time to glare at each camera present for at least 10 seconds. “From me, TO. No need to ask any else. That’s it. That’s all. That’s the final word, everything the best wide receiver in the NFL has to say. Period.”