Which Cowboys Are You Watching?
by Richie Whitt
Mon Oct 06, 2008 at 03:00:30 PM
Half-empty or half-full?Since NFL beauty is in the eye of the ticket holder, I was wondering where y’all fall on the Cowboys through five games.
Happy? Satisfied? Concerned? Mad?
Some seem generally pissy that Dallas had to squeak past the Bengals. Others are convinced the Super Bowl train remains on track.
I see more troubling temporary trends rather than irreversible deficiences.
But which group are you in?
Group A (The Cowboys are in trouble):
*We were lucky to beat the sorry-ass Bengals. At home. After taking a 17-0 lead. Unacceptable.
*Our 4-1 record is shakier than Muhammad Ali. The four wins are against teams with a combined record of 5-14. If this was the BCS, the Cowboys would be rapidly sliding.
*What the hell ever happened to Wade “Mr. Fix-It” Phillips’ vaunted 3-4 defense?
*Terrell Owens gets 18 balls thrown his way one week, then, what, three the next? And you’re telling me he’s crying on the sideline, in need of a coddling from owner Jerry Jones? Remember, he’s one of our captains!
*His stats are similar to last year, but there’s something troubling about Tony Romo’s demeanor. Just doesn’t look like he’s fun. Where's the dimpled smile? The boyish, animated enthusiasm? Anyone seen Jessica lately?
*Pacman Jones’ impact so far is to shatter the franchise record for dropped interceptions in a season. The guy produces more drops than Grubes during “Why Today Doesn’t Suck.”
*This us-against-the-media bit is counter-productive. And old. The same media who picked us as Super Bowl contenders is now merely holding us to lofty standards. But yesterday Phillips tossed a “You stink!” grenade as he left the Texas Stadium interview room.
*Like those in Group B, you can minimize the luck of Miles Austin's drop turning into Patrick Crayton's catch and put a coat of shellack on a cow chip. But us? We see a win, with warts.
Group B (The Cowboys are on schedule):
*Style points are for gymnastics. This is football. And 4-1 is 4-1. At the end of the year the win over Cincinnati won’t have an asterisk beside it. Just another big, fat W for a team that is 17-4 in our last 21 regular-season games. Those in Group A are the same people who get to have a romp with Kim Kardashian and come away complaining about carpet burns on their knees. We'd rather just enjoy the ride. --
Mon Oct 06, 2008 at 03:00:30 PM
Half-empty or half-full?Since NFL beauty is in the eye of the ticket holder, I was wondering where y’all fall on the Cowboys through five games.
Happy? Satisfied? Concerned? Mad?
Some seem generally pissy that Dallas had to squeak past the Bengals. Others are convinced the Super Bowl train remains on track.
I see more troubling temporary trends rather than irreversible deficiences.
But which group are you in?
Group A (The Cowboys are in trouble):
*We were lucky to beat the sorry-ass Bengals. At home. After taking a 17-0 lead. Unacceptable.
*Our 4-1 record is shakier than Muhammad Ali. The four wins are against teams with a combined record of 5-14. If this was the BCS, the Cowboys would be rapidly sliding.
*What the hell ever happened to Wade “Mr. Fix-It” Phillips’ vaunted 3-4 defense?
*Terrell Owens gets 18 balls thrown his way one week, then, what, three the next? And you’re telling me he’s crying on the sideline, in need of a coddling from owner Jerry Jones? Remember, he’s one of our captains!
*His stats are similar to last year, but there’s something troubling about Tony Romo’s demeanor. Just doesn’t look like he’s fun. Where's the dimpled smile? The boyish, animated enthusiasm? Anyone seen Jessica lately?
*Pacman Jones’ impact so far is to shatter the franchise record for dropped interceptions in a season. The guy produces more drops than Grubes during “Why Today Doesn’t Suck.”
*This us-against-the-media bit is counter-productive. And old. The same media who picked us as Super Bowl contenders is now merely holding us to lofty standards. But yesterday Phillips tossed a “You stink!” grenade as he left the Texas Stadium interview room.
*Like those in Group B, you can minimize the luck of Miles Austin's drop turning into Patrick Crayton's catch and put a coat of shellack on a cow chip. But us? We see a win, with warts.
Group B (The Cowboys are on schedule):
*Style points are for gymnastics. This is football. And 4-1 is 4-1. At the end of the year the win over Cincinnati won’t have an asterisk beside it. Just another big, fat W for a team that is 17-4 in our last 21 regular-season games. Those in Group A are the same people who get to have a romp with Kim Kardashian and come away complaining about carpet burns on their knees. We'd rather just enjoy the ride. --
posted by The Gryphon at 6:09 PM
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