The Cowboy's Weapons of Mass Destruction!!!
By Azriel
DCFU Staff
They say that in the moments just before a nuke hits, there is an eerie deathly silence and calm in the air...that time itself seems to slow down...milliseconds becoming seconds, seconds becoming minutes... prolonging the deadly anticipation of the destruction that is to come. They say it is as if nature itself grasps the inevitability of having its very molecular and atomic structure torn asunder...somehow realizing that that which will remain in the aftermath will never again be the same as what was or is. Such a silence and calm now encompasses much of the NFL and certainly the NFC East! For both those opponents who comprehend and those who pretend not to, sense their imminent doom, which will soon fall upon then when The Dallas Cowboys unleash their WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!
Sure...Some of the Cowboys' WMDs, as well as their collective might, exist only in theory. However, there was also a time when Einstein's E=MC Squared was just a theory. Even further, Einstein's most famous conceptual treatise which comprises and gave birth to E=MC Squared is still referred to as a theory..."Theory of Relativity". But are there any among us who doubt its proven validity? Such shall it be proven with the 2006-2007 edition of The Dallas Cowboys offense. That's why this eerie and deadly silence that our opposition, detractors, and naysayers feel is pervasive and chilling. So...In no particular order, let's talk about the Cowboys' most formidable arsenal of WMDs...
Drew Bledsoe
Is he the best QB in the NFL?...Of course not. Is he the best QB in the NFC?...NOPE! Is he even the best QB in the NFC East?...Debatable. Doesn't matter, for if he gets the time he needs to pass, he is a WMD! Give Drew just normal pass protection and he's smart enough, experienced enough, and skilled enough to take full advantage of our OTHER WMDs. So...the "theory" in question is not about Drew, but about the offensive line. I have my concerns there, but I still feel that eerie silence in the air. I am confident that Drew will thrive...nee...EXCEL in the new TWO-TE offense.
Julius Jones
"JuJo" is a nuke waiting to go off. Injuries and perhaps early-on, some mental toughness, have prevented him from EXPLODING on a consistent basis. He has
the tools and the pedigree to be a great RB. I see him GOING OFF this season. Again, as with Bledsoe, JuJo needs the O-Line to initiate his "atomic trigger". By the way...He has a running buddy that COULD also be WMD-in-waiting also..."MBIII"!
Anthony Fasano
Okay...I know...He's just a rook, and hasn't had a chance to do diddly squat in the NFL yet. But AHHHHH...This young buck, along with T.O., holds the key to the collective deadliness of the Cowboys new offense. It is in great part because of Fasano's sure hands and versatility that DA BIG TUNA is thrilled with the possibilities of the Two-TE Offense. For this offense to work, this kid HAS to not only "make it", but in his own way, be a WMD! No...Not the same kind of "field-rendering" WMD that our others will be...but a consistent and perpetually-moving/shifting/producing force that opposing D's must account for and respect.
Jason Witten
No theory here. We already know what "J-Dub" can do. He's already done it as a Pro Bowl TE. He slipped a smidge last season, mainly because he had to spend so much time as a blocker. However, this season, I see him returning to WMD status...great hands, good TE speed, smart, great route-runner, a leader...all to be enhanced even more by the schemed distractions created by Fasano, T.O. et al.
Terry Glenn
Another "No-Theory" WMD. TG is a proven threat! He's not a very good route-runner, but with his speed and hands, and now with opposing pass D's having to account for T.O. plus Witten and Fasano...(Who dey gonna single cover?)...TG should start asking TO for some help in developing some new Touchdown Dances, because I see him spending a lot of time in the endzone this season.
Terrel Owens
First off...I didn't want T.O. on the team. So let's just get that out of the way. He's a proven WMD, but unfortunately for the Eagles and Niners, he nuked their teams while he was still on them. I'm from Missouri (by way of NC, IL, WI, & MI), so he''s gonna have to SHOW ME that he won't DISINTEGRATE The Cowboys. However until/unless he does, I'm focusing on his on-field skills & accomplishments...and they are formidable! He's highly skilled, aggressive, c*cky, big, fast, tough, one of the most well-conditioned athletes in any sport, and plays hard all the time. Plus...He's "HON-GREE"...for a ring, and to prove his detractors wrong. Inarguably, he is the Cowboys most sure and deadly WMD. Despite my fears of the potential negatives, I just have a "silent, eerie" feeling that I need to "Get out the popcorn, because there is going to be a show!"
So...There are The Cowboys Offensive Weapons of Mass Destruction! I've reviewed them at a high level here individually. However, Remember (or be advised) that there is another "theory" at play...one that has been proven tima and time again in sports as well as all walks of life. It is a theory precipitated by Gestalt Psychology. It simply states that..."The whole is greater than the sum of its parts". Hence...I offer to you that as explosive as the indicated Cowboys WMDs will be individually, the Cowboys offense as a group will itself MUSHROOM CLOUD at a level beyond the sum of the parts and itself become a COLLECTIVE Weapon of Mass Destruction! Gonna be fun to watch. In the meantime...I'm ordering a truckload of popcorn!
DCFU Staff
They say that in the moments just before a nuke hits, there is an eerie deathly silence and calm in the air...that time itself seems to slow down...milliseconds becoming seconds, seconds becoming minutes... prolonging the deadly anticipation of the destruction that is to come. They say it is as if nature itself grasps the inevitability of having its very molecular and atomic structure torn asunder...somehow realizing that that which will remain in the aftermath will never again be the same as what was or is. Such a silence and calm now encompasses much of the NFL and certainly the NFC East! For both those opponents who comprehend and those who pretend not to, sense their imminent doom, which will soon fall upon then when The Dallas Cowboys unleash their WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!
Sure...Some of the Cowboys' WMDs, as well as their collective might, exist only in theory. However, there was also a time when Einstein's E=MC Squared was just a theory. Even further, Einstein's most famous conceptual treatise which comprises and gave birth to E=MC Squared is still referred to as a theory..."Theory of Relativity". But are there any among us who doubt its proven validity? Such shall it be proven with the 2006-2007 edition of The Dallas Cowboys offense. That's why this eerie and deadly silence that our opposition, detractors, and naysayers feel is pervasive and chilling. So...In no particular order, let's talk about the Cowboys' most formidable arsenal of WMDs...
Drew Bledsoe
Is he the best QB in the NFL?...Of course not. Is he the best QB in the NFC?...NOPE! Is he even the best QB in the NFC East?...Debatable. Doesn't matter, for if he gets the time he needs to pass, he is a WMD! Give Drew just normal pass protection and he's smart enough, experienced enough, and skilled enough to take full advantage of our OTHER WMDs. So...the "theory" in question is not about Drew, but about the offensive line. I have my concerns there, but I still feel that eerie silence in the air. I am confident that Drew will thrive...nee...EXCEL in the new TWO-TE offense.
Julius Jones
"JuJo" is a nuke waiting to go off. Injuries and perhaps early-on, some mental toughness, have prevented him from EXPLODING on a consistent basis. He has
the tools and the pedigree to be a great RB. I see him GOING OFF this season. Again, as with Bledsoe, JuJo needs the O-Line to initiate his "atomic trigger". By the way...He has a running buddy that COULD also be WMD-in-waiting also..."MBIII"!
Anthony Fasano
Okay...I know...He's just a rook, and hasn't had a chance to do diddly squat in the NFL yet. But AHHHHH...This young buck, along with T.O., holds the key to the collective deadliness of the Cowboys new offense. It is in great part because of Fasano's sure hands and versatility that DA BIG TUNA is thrilled with the possibilities of the Two-TE Offense. For this offense to work, this kid HAS to not only "make it", but in his own way, be a WMD! No...Not the same kind of "field-rendering" WMD that our others will be...but a consistent and perpetually-moving/shifting/producing force that opposing D's must account for and respect.
Jason Witten
No theory here. We already know what "J-Dub" can do. He's already done it as a Pro Bowl TE. He slipped a smidge last season, mainly because he had to spend so much time as a blocker. However, this season, I see him returning to WMD status...great hands, good TE speed, smart, great route-runner, a leader...all to be enhanced even more by the schemed distractions created by Fasano, T.O. et al.
Terry Glenn
Another "No-Theory" WMD. TG is a proven threat! He's not a very good route-runner, but with his speed and hands, and now with opposing pass D's having to account for T.O. plus Witten and Fasano...(Who dey gonna single cover?)...TG should start asking TO for some help in developing some new Touchdown Dances, because I see him spending a lot of time in the endzone this season.
Terrel Owens
First off...I didn't want T.O. on the team. So let's just get that out of the way. He's a proven WMD, but unfortunately for the Eagles and Niners, he nuked their teams while he was still on them. I'm from Missouri (by way of NC, IL, WI, & MI), so he''s gonna have to SHOW ME that he won't DISINTEGRATE The Cowboys. However until/unless he does, I'm focusing on his on-field skills & accomplishments...and they are formidable! He's highly skilled, aggressive, c*cky, big, fast, tough, one of the most well-conditioned athletes in any sport, and plays hard all the time. Plus...He's "HON-GREE"...for a ring, and to prove his detractors wrong. Inarguably, he is the Cowboys most sure and deadly WMD. Despite my fears of the potential negatives, I just have a "silent, eerie" feeling that I need to "Get out the popcorn, because there is going to be a show!"
So...There are The Cowboys Offensive Weapons of Mass Destruction! I've reviewed them at a high level here individually. However, Remember (or be advised) that there is another "theory" at play...one that has been proven tima and time again in sports as well as all walks of life. It is a theory precipitated by Gestalt Psychology. It simply states that..."The whole is greater than the sum of its parts". Hence...I offer to you that as explosive as the indicated Cowboys WMDs will be individually, the Cowboys offense as a group will itself MUSHROOM CLOUD at a level beyond the sum of the parts and itself become a COLLECTIVE Weapon of Mass Destruction! Gonna be fun to watch. In the meantime...I'm ordering a truckload of popcorn!
posted by The Gryphon at 8:13 PM
<< Home