Saturday, July 25, 2009

Training Camp Dallas Cowboys: Now With Fewer Pop Stars

Written by Rosolio

What They’re Saying: We’re so much better without T.O.. Miles Austin is twice the receiver he is. Tony Romo is done with Daisy Dukes and therefore focused on football.

Wish They’d Say: Please GOD, let Romo win one f*cking game of significance! And the fact Roy Williams has NEVER LIFTED WEIGHTS is a huge problem!

The Coach: Wade Phillips is the poster child for middle-aged coach who looks like an old lesbian. He’s also as lame of a duck as you can get. Jerry Jones is dying to hire Mike Shanahan or Bill Cowher next year, so it’ll take a ring to maybe save his job.

Best Case Scenario: T.O.-free, the Cowboys destroy the division with a power running game and stout defense and get to the Super Bowl.

Worst Case Scenario: Fans can use the largest HDTV in the world to see Williams have no interest in playing football and Romo put his hands on his head like he just remembered what color his jersey is.